ALTA is aggravating

You know, sometimes I just wish that things would work in my favor. I mean, yeah, I can obviously see what good things are around me, so don't even tell me to "look at all the good things." Right now, I just want to vent.

So, Grace is only 19 pounds. For her age she should be around 24-26 pounds. She's in the 20th percentile. And she's only hit 19 pounds after 3 months of being 18 months. And I know weight isn't a huge issue, but it is because if she's not gaining weight then she's so busy that she's using up all her fuel intake, which recently, has been about 1% what it used too. Weight is drastically important for her. She is on a high calorie diet, which means chicken nuggets, fish sticks, chocolate ice cream, full fat yogurt, full fat mayo, butter in EVERYTHING, and I think you get the picture. Her dietitian said she should be getting 1,400 calories a day. I did a 4 day diary of all food intake and I was lucky to calculate about 600 calories. But it's like taking a horse to water. You can take them there, but you can't make them drink. I can offer her all the food she loves, which is everything, and if she won't eat, I can't make her. But what's the alternative? Feeding tube or G-tube if she starts dropping weight. And I don't want that. And she won't either. I don't want any more scars on her little body. The one on her back is enough.

Anyways, back to why I started talking about her weight, and why ALTA is in the headline. We are going through ALTA for all her therapy and things like that, and when we were told she needs pediasure, we realized that it was something that was WAY too expensive for us to pay for. So her pediatrician said we could go through Alta and they will pay for it as long as there is a prescription. So I got that, scanned it and sent an email to my worker, and she tries to tell me that ALTA is a last resort payer,and we need to go through WIC first. Really?? So I talked to the Head nurse at SCOE and she said it shouldn't be this difficult. All they need is the prescription and so I think I'm getting the run around. How aggravating! When she's healthy, she goes through 3 cans of pediasure a day, maybe more. And adult food for some reason is just not working with her, so Pediasure is needed like air to breathe is needed.

I gotta keep breathing. I need to relax. When things get stressful like this, even though to some this might just be a little thing, I start to freak. But seriously, it's needing to feed my kid and not being able to do it. This is when the stupid thoughts of, "I just wish..." would come into my head, and I need to just push them out because they just drag me further into depression.