Grace's journey: The 3 Hour Chunk of Testing

I really disliked this meeting. On so many different levels. And because it's going to get me all worked up to talk about it, I'm just going to go through rather quickly and describe the meeting. We were actually asked to go back with Grace because we could "keep her attention" for whatever they do back there, so I was glad for that seeing as we were not invited and actually, not wanted, the previous meeting. Tiny HOT office. Not good for starters, plus I'm already on edge because I'm not trusting the whole situation and what's going on, what's being asked, how Grace is being treated, or anything else you can possibly think of. And seeing that these meetings are going to really make or break Grace's future is something that really sits heavy on my shoulders as well. Anyways.

So we get started, and right off the bat I see that I'm going to dislike this woman. When a child is tested, you have to do it a specific way so that you are "leading" the child to the appropriate response. And when a child gets a question wrong, you count out a specific amount of wrong questions in a row and then you stop giving the test because at that point, it's beyond their development level. So, just those little tid-bits. And if you are wondering what I mean by "leading," here are some examples of what the woman did to give Grace the answer to something she obviously didn't know:

When you are asking "which one is right" out of a number of pictures and you hover over one for too long, you are giving the idea that this is the correct one. So, when the woman is asking "which girl is wearing a rain jacket that doesn't need to be?" as she's pointing at the correct picture, of course Grace chooses that one. The woman marked that as a right answer (after having asked the question repeatedly with numerous wrong answers from Grace).
When you are pointing at pictures that Grace has to choose just one from and you end with the appropriate answer, Grace is going to choose that one because it's the last thing you said (the lady has Grace pegged on this, and we all know it's true as well. It's echolalia...repeating the last thing you said).
When you want Grace to point to the animal that meows and then she repeatedly points random animals (meaning she should have gotten a score of 0), you should be done. But then when you go so far as to ask about each animal's noise (4 animals) and you END with the cat, of COURSE she's going to tell you that the cat meows. That doesn't mean you give her that answer as correct because it wasn't!
When you are working with Grace with blocks and she's supposed to replicate what you have done (2 white blocks on bottom, 2 red blocks on top) and she's tried over and over and OVER and has failed each time, it's definitely leading if you put the 2 white blocks on the bottom, and then 1 red one on top, and then say, "Ok, put the other red one here (in the correct spot)" and then give her the point as if she had gotten it correct! Seriously?!

I could go on and on, but I'll move on. There were some definite things that Grace was doing that we did NOT believe she was really understanding. Whether is the luck of the point (she was being asked to point at certain pictures) or things like that, it didn't matter to this woman. If we said, "There's no way she understands what you want. She's just pointing," she would blow us off as if we had no idea what she was talking about. And then there's all the times where, with questions like, "Grace, please point to the cat furthest away from the dog" and she would just randomly start pointing at all the animals and happen to point at the cat first, the woman would give her the point for it. But it's plainly obvious that she doesn't comprehend what she's being asked, it's just that she wants to point at all the animals because she's bored and not listening!!! Or there's the questions like..."Grace, the bird is eating the worm. What does the squirrel eat?" And she just happens to point at the right one. But when I'm looking at her face and seeing that she's checked out, and that she's just randomly pointing, that's when I know we aren't reading correct results, but that of a bored child.

Oh, the worst thing? This woman would tell Grace, "Ok, Grace. Just two more pictures and then you can have some tape." The tape was a "reward" of sorts because we told the woman we didn't want her giving Grace candy for answers. I mean, we want you to see how she is without bribery, so why do you think we'd allow that? That's for dogs when you are training them, not for children that are being tested for developmental issues. See them how they really are. So, anyways...

15 pictures later and this woman is obviously starting to get frustrated. I should have just said, "Well, you did say 'two more pictures' about 13 pictures ago, so she was expecting her tape." But I really don't want to jeopardize Grace's chances with this woman. Who knows. She could go back and change answers! So I didn't say anything. Most of the whole meeting I had to bite my lip because I was SO SO SO frustrated!

Oh, and then the icing on the cake? When I make these appointments, the confirmation call comes in like this, "Hi, we are calling to confirm your appointment with Dr. ...... at said time." So, we're assuming we're seeing the real "Dr. ....." The first meeting? Another psychologist that is working towards her doctorate degree and is overseen by said doctor. This past meeting we were pretty sure she was the woman we were supposed to be seeing...up until the point that she said, "Well, when you show these to Dr. ...... make sure that you..." WHAT?!! We still haven't seen the real deal? So then that brings up another question...

Can you really gauge a child off of paper alone? No matter what the results say?

Here's my thinking. If you want to gauge a child's behaviors/development or lack thereof, personality, etc, then you need to be involved with that child the entire time. You can't just look at sheets and sheets and sheets (seriously, there's about 10 booklets of tests that have about 200 questions each) of paper and then be able to come up with a response as to how the child is doing if you've never even met the child!! Grace is like a performer. Get her around new people and she'll do whatever you want her to do. That's not the real Grace that we see at home...throwing at least 10 fits a day, hitting, pushing, yelling, playing in her diaper...etc.

Well, I said I'd just write a little but now here I have gone writing a lecture. We have another meeting with this same woman because there are more tests that have to be done. She said Grace probably wouldn't be able to do them so I'm going to stick her to it. No forcing the questions. If she answers wrong or doesn't answer at all, that's it. I wish I could read up on their specific protocol that is in the manual for these tests so that I knew the specific guidelines to questioning, but I'm pretty sure that how she did it was wrong, and if the actual doctor says that Grace scored really high (we want a low score) and doesn't qualify for any more help, then I'm going to remember everything that I've written here and make sure that this doctor knows about all of it. I have learned some things in my days at college and the leading that she did was so irresponsible and would make all the testing void.

Grr...now I need to relax. Time for some pickles. I love Grace! And obviously, I'm going to fight to be sure she gets everything she needs.

Amanda