Grace, my lovely Daughter

Sometimes, I get so frustrated. I get upset because she's not normal, or because she's not hitting all her milestones like she should. But I am SO HAPPY to have her. When I have my bad days (which my bipolar doesn't help) I get so upset because of all the extra things that I have to deal with. But when I get back to my normal self, I realize how much I regret what I've said or thought. And I'm glad that Grace is such a wonderful daughter, and is so forgiving. Me, Daddy, and Grace are learning how to deal with this as the days go on, and I'm learning how to be a better mother as the nights go on when she's in bed. I look online to see what there is that I can do for her to help her with therapy, or what we can do around the house to stimulate her brain and get her in an aesthetically pleasing place. I am so glad that she's my daughter, and I'm so glad she was made as perfectly as she has been! I know, and can say with 100% belief, that I get so upset, and I say what I do, because I feel so inadequate to help her. I feel like I'm trying so hard, but not hard enough, and I'm so scared that I'm going to mess her up somehow. So all the anger I feel, and all the disappointment I feel, it's all aimed towards me. But it's not always shown that way...But that's the truth. I feel like I should be so much better. But I'm learning. And I've done so much better with her being 13 months than when she was at 4 or 5 months and going through the witching hours.

I love this girl so much!!! I can't stop saying it :) And my temper will get better. It comes out when I feel like I'm not doing my best, and that will change. Because she is my everything. And she is Daddy's everything. I am learning everyday, just like she is. And I will be the perfect parent for her, because that's what she deserves. I will change myself for you Grace, because you deserve it! I will do my best for you Grace, and then do even better than that!