NAUSEA!!

I am having so much more nausea with this little one in me than I did with Grace.  So much, in fact, that it's really nerve wracking.  A lot of people are scared of the dark, or are scared of blood or whatever.  I am scared of throwing up!  The feeling of not being able to control my body and it's functions, not being able to breath during the process, and then the horrible taste afterwards just really plays with my mind.  And I was having that nausea pretty bad today.  I was also lightheaded and having stomach pains...so I gave in and picked up the anti-nausea medication the doctor had prescribed for me.  I'm not one to take pills very often.  I don't take them for headaches or menstrual cycles...I just don't feel like they are always necessary.  But after talking with two pharmacists to be sure that this compound mixture is safe for the baby, I'm going to give in.  I can't give Grace the time she needs if I'm completely focused on NOT throwing up.  She is going to need attention a lot, especially once she starts seeing changes in my body and understanding that I can't do as much as I did with her (jumping on the trampoline, rolling around on the floor, letting her jump on my stomach, etc).  So we talk about baby a lot, she now has one in her tummy too (so cute!), and at this point, it's going ok.  But she has already started lashing out so she can get negative behavior, and this is worrisome because I'm only about 6 weeks into the pregnancy.  I'm extremely tired recently, and she has seen this with my lack of desire to do much more than sit.  And so she's acted out by tearing a page in a book she received from her aunt and uncle, by grabbing things off the kitchen counters that she shouldn't have (knives--and to think they were far enough away...once she can reach the center of the island, I've lost! , candy, or anything else), throwing things at us (specifically Daddy today), pushing keys on my computer when I was trying to print something, screaming while sitting next to me after asking her "Mommy is on the phone, can you please keep a quiet voice for a minute?", and playing in her...pants.  But because I can see that she's seeing a difference, and that she's uncomfortable and confused, we are working on positive redirection and constructive feedback.  It's amazing how calm we've been because so many of these things used to peeve us to no end.  And we can absolutely see the difference when we are positively constructive versus the harsh and negative tones that sometimes slip out when something has been extremely frustrating.  This is pretty much going to turn her world upside down, so we are starting early on getting her accustomed to different schedules (though more reinforced), different actions from us (I'm trying to not pick her up as much, but when I can really tell she needs cuddles, we'll sit on the couch), and differences in our time span we allow her to misbehave.

Naps...This has been the third day that she hasn't napped, and I'm extremely saddened by it because these naps are when I would usually do homework.  And school is starting this weekend.  So I'm really trying to hold on to the idea that this is just a phase, and that she's going to start napping again, but I think I have to come to the realization that it's probably over with the napping.  So I'm having to come up with a way to deal with this because we all know how excessively clingy she is, and how I have to be with her and entertaining her every moment.  I don't know what I'm going to do during the three hours that she normally slept in terms of having her work independently so I can still get things done I need to.  I've thought about giving her things in her room and allowing her to get up and have the freedom, but still have the door closed so it's her own personal time, but this is when pages are torn and cupboards are dug through, so I'm not really knowing what to do.  Once the baby comes, this would have been my time to also sleep while baby and Grace slept, so I don't know what we'll do when we get to that point of exhaustion with two children that need me, as well as school, home work, and everything else.  But there are so many other people out there that have done this, and I'm thinking WAY TOO FAR in advance, so I'll go back to the here and now.  Here is the hear and now...it's 12:09 am.  And I'm still up.  And miss Grace is going to be up at 7-8 pm.  So I better get my tushy to bed so I can be ready to wake up and have fun with her.  Tomorrow...well, today...there is an easter egg hunt for children with special needs, so we are going to go to that at 10 am and see what it's all about :)

Amanda