Sunday, January 30, 2011

Sunday Catch-up

For some reason, I feel like I haven't really blogged in like forever! I mean, I know there is a Saturday blog, but I've been so tired that I don't really put much thought into what I'm blogging, if I blog at all. I guess, while my little beauty sits beside me in her high chair eating her spaghetti, cheese cubes, and mixed vegetables, I figured I would share out day today, and then whatever else comes to mind will follow :)

Today we went to Stake Conference. My first time ever. Before, I never wanted to hear talks for two hours, but last night (during the adult session) I promised a friend I would be at the Sunday session, so I had to show her my word was worth gold. The hubby and the teen went too, and I really enjoyed myself. The talks were wonderful. One on Temple work, which I'm desperately needing to improve on, and one on Faith. Hm...two areas that I need to work on in one conference...hints I think from the One above! Grace did pretty well. She made some pretty loud noises every once in a while that were super cute, and she gave the teen boy sitting behind us some pretty mean looking faces, but he gave them right back, which made her smile big! At one point, we were getting desperate because she was getting wiggly, and we couldn't put her on the floor or she would move the tray that held the power point box...I think that's what it's called! Anywho, I put her on Daddy's back and she played with his hair for a good 20 minutes, but then started pulling and yanking, so Daddy took her out in the halls to crawl and get her energy out. It was so nice, feeling the spirit, hearing the talks, and then every so often hearing her "OOOOOOO" or "LOLOLOLOLOLOLO" out in the hall a ways away and knowing, "that noise is coming from MY little one!!!" Oh that made me feel so good!! After that she took a nap, and I responded to some emails from other parents that have children with the 7q gene deletion. I belong to a group called Unique, and they are a non-profit free group that connects parents of children with rare gene disoders, and they were able to send me a list of about 15 parents with children with the gene deletion. The exact one. WOW!!! I emailed about 5 I think that were in the states, and I got 4 responses! And who would know but one that I emailed lives in Utah and is MORMON!!! What a small world! I'm so glad I have found these people, especially the one who's daughter can walk normally with the gene deletion and also had the tethered cord! Oh I totally forgot where I was headed after the email part! Anyways, hubby gave me a "honey do" list (as I've done to him TONS of times) and that was so helpful for me because I finally got my sewing room REALLY cleaned because of that list! And the rest of the house got cleaned too with help from hubby and the teen, so all in all, it was a good thing to do! And I've got more sewing projects too, so I've been super busy on those. I'm making pillow owls and a pillow elephant with button eyes for Grace, and pictures will follow soon. I will also be making a crayon/tablet holder for Grace for church, and will teach her how to draw with it once it's done! And then Pam and I will be making (oh, that's my friend for those of you who don't know!) quiet books together for Grace and her grandchild, so that will be fun too! I just love knowing she uses things I make her!!! (Grace)

Yesterday I went to the adult session, while Hubby stayed home to watch Grace. It was my first experience with Stake Conference, and it was nice to spend it with my best friend Pam. I just love her so much! She and I worked together at the Emergency Preparedness table helping the members of the church update their files, and after that I signed hubby and I up to work with the Mormons Helping Hands. Pam and I will be working at Registration while Brad is workin' the grill! That will also be my first experience with the Mormon Helping Hands, so I'm excited to see how that goes too.

I'm so excited that it's almost February 1st! That's when I start my "Countdown to Valentine's Day!!!" This is my first time doing it, so I'm excited to see how it turns out. I have most of the fits made, but the ones that aren't will be my late night sewing projects!! And I almost have hubby's countdown done, but will need to work on that especially tonight, as it hasn't even been started. And of course there will be pictures of everything I am talking about!!!

Well, time for some Dulce de leche cheesecake with my little one, so ta ta for now!!


Amanda

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Spina Bifida Clinic Paperwork

So we got our letter from the Spina Bifida clinic nurse about the recommendations from each doctor that we saw on our trip to Oakland. All in all, sounds pretty good!

List of Recommendations:
Neurology-Atefeh Hosseini, MD
  • Neurologically stable status post tethered cord release.
  • Developmental delays; has appropriate therapies for now. If feeding issues continue, consider OT or Speech referral for feeding.
  • Mild speech delay noted. Recommend Audiology referral.
  • History of febrile seizure. Reviewed seizure first aid.
Neurosurgery-Dachling Pang, MD
  • Gross motor development continues to progress. Small spinal syrinx from T12-L2, had gotten larger per last MRI. Will repeat MRI in next several months--by summer at latest.
  • Will see back in 4 months.
Orthopedics- Dale Townsend, MD
  • Hips are normal. no recommendations at this time.
Physical medicine and rehabilitation- Benjamin Mandac, MD
  • Agree with plan for hearing test.
  • Continue present therapy services. Recommend do not use jumper or store bought walker.
Physical therapy- Merav Thomas, PT
  • Overall doing well. Discouraged getting a walker at this time, as increased standing and cruising time is the best practice for walking. Encourage mom to increase time in standing and to work on squatting to increase lower extremity strength. Continue with current therapy.
Occupational therapy- Heather Horn, OT
  • No current OT needs. Continue to check in with OT at Spina Bifida Clinic as Grace grows, and functional demands increase.
Speech Therapy- Casey Rider, SLP
  • Continue with Early Intervention services through Regional Center. Suggested adding speech therapy to services when Grace reaches 18 months. Family to follow up with case worker. Reviewed communication milestones and language stimulation activities.
Urology/Nephrology- Anand Krishnan, MD
  • Neurogenic bowel, risk of neurogenic bladder. No reason to suspect high pressure, poor compliance bladder, or vesico-ureteral reflux based on clinical history. Normal ultrasound.
  • Continue miralax for neurogenic bowel.
  • Would consider baseline Urodynamics study at 2.5-3 years of age (as long as she continues to be asymptomatic and has normal serial ultrasounds) to get baseline assessment of continence potential.
  • Recommend follow-up renal and bladder ultrasound.
Nutrition- Andrea Curran, RD
  • Possible lactose intolerance. you may use 8 oz Lactaid Whole Milk plus one scoop or packet of Carnation Instant Breakfast in place of Pediasure.
  • Increase calories of foods consumes.
  • Use full fat yogurt.
Nursing- Duane Marble, RN
  • Begin bowel clean-out using Miralax, one capful twice per day, until signs of success like last time. Once cleaned out, begin daily dose of Miralax. Start with 1/2 capful per day and titrate as needed.
  • Recommend obtain Ilex barrier cream to protect skin under diaper.
  • Ad discussed, Grace will be considered to have a latex sensitivity by virtue of being born with a neural tube defect in the form of retained medullary cord and sacral agenesis. Consequently, she is at increased risk for developing full-blown latex allergy over time with continued exposure to latex products.

All in all, not too much information that we haven't had before. I enjoyed going there, mostly because all the doctors were so helpful. I didn't feel rushed, or like my questions were stupid or anything. We are supposed to go again in July, but our prior plans take precedence, so we are going to reschedule.

I'm really hoping for some normalcy soon with her bowels. She hasn't had a void for 2 days. I really thought we were getting on top of it. So I still feel like I'm on the roller coaster of either giving her not enough and then we have to do the bowel cleanout, or giving her too much and she's a faucet. I'm really hoping for that happy medium (I've never been a fan of roller coasters!). Having a child with this many issues...sometimes I forget to think about myself, and caring for my needs. But that's what all mothers do. Their child comes first, and I wouldn't do anything differently! I'm healthy (for the most part) and though she is healthy (per say) she still has these things that are never going to go away, and so I'd rather learn how to handle them and get some type of plateau before she gets too old! So I'd rather put myself on the back burner now and just keep on going, putting my "shoulder to the wheel and pressing on" rather than have the mindset of, "ah, whatever". She's such a sweetie through all this...has the strongest soul I've EVER seen.


Amanda
Grace's Paperwork...
The stuff the Doctor's WON'T show us!
Watch out, this is super long.

When we went to her Spina Bifida Clinic, all the doctors had huge pads of paperwork that were obviously about our little Grace...ok, 11 pages, but seriously, 11 pages on a 16 month old?? That's almost 1 page per month! Anyways...this is definitely the stuff they won't show the parents, not only because it's got such big words that the parents wouldn't understand, but also because it would make the parents worry!! And this packet in particular only had a few situations in it that they were describing...

1st one:
01/04/10- Grace was 4 months old and this was when we first found out she would need surgery. Blah, what a day. I cried of course. Just hearing about my little one having to go for surgery, possibilities of paralysis, or bladder/bowel problems, and everything else was just so overwhelming. This section discussed what the mark looked like, and what the spine and things like that looked like. It was like she was trying to teach me another language, you know? And I wonder now, did I ever even SEE the mark above her buttcrack? When she was a newborn? For the life of me, I can't seem to remember if I had ever seen it there, or acknowledged that it was there. Hm...interesting. Her neurosurgeon dictated this first report.

2nd one: This was from the same day, but the Assistant to the neurosurgeon dictated this report. I learned something new with this report. I learned that the left side of her sacrum is missing. I never knew what side. They called it a hemisacrum. Makes sense.

3rd one: 10/08/09 She was only one month old. Hm...so long ago! Nothing much on that one, just talking about an abnormal gluteal crease, which was her proof of the spinal cord issue.

4th one: 04/01/10 The big day. My little 9 month old went under the knife. This was a confusing one to read, as it's from the neurosurgeon who was dictating as he was doing the surgery. So there's lots of technical stuff.
Preoperative Diagnosis: Retained medullary cord
Postoperative Diagnosis: tethered cord syndrome
Procedure performed: 1. L3-L4, L5-s1 Laminectomy (a spine operation to remove the portion of the vertebral bone called the lamina.) 2. Resection of retained medullary (taking out)

Interesting things I read in this note: "The MRI showed that the child had a very bizarre-looking spinal cord." Ha ha. I had to laugh when I read that! It seriously sounded like the issue in her back was a huge wad of stuff that was all knotted together!! "...she also had some anal stenosis issues" (the opening is too small, which could be a reason too for the constipation). Then the paperwork goes into dictating the surgery...blah blah big words and words that might not be big but I can't find definitions for online!...They did a laminectomy of parts of the L3, L4, and L5 to expose the low bottom of the thecal sac (this is a sac of fluid that is filled with spinal fluid and surrounds the spinal cord). It was completely normal looking. WOO WHOO! Interesting fact: Grace's surface blood vessels of the spinal cord were very wriggly until it suddenly abruptly became straightened. Hm. WEIRD? That's where they figured the medullary cord started.

They said at the bottom of the spinal cord the nerve roots were wrapped up and extremely thickened arachnoid. They were so thick that one could not identify the lower sacral roots until they used micro scissors to dissect and resect the thickened arachnoid. there were no hidden abnormalities. After they were peeled away, they could see every single nerve root w/o surprise.
After doing research for every other word, what I'm getting is that some of her nerves are crossfiring, meaning that, for example, her S2 nerves stimulate bother her abductor hallucis (a muscle that runs along the inside of the foot from the back of the foot to the front. It is attached to the heel and ten extends to just behind the big toe) as well as some small anal contractions ipsilaterally (effecting the same side of the body). What a mouthful! Then the paperwork goes on to explain all these nerves going everywhere as though they were all freeways going left, right, horizontal, vertical, and every which way. There were no identifiers of a left-sided S4 root that was functional. S4 issues could affect pain and temperature sensation.

Another point of info if you want it: Study done shows that 100% of patients who have issues at L1 or L2 or higher use wheelchair (Grace's are fine) and 78% of patients who have issues at L3, L4 or L5 use wheelchair at least part of the time (Grace's were intact!!!) But another bit of info not so fun: S3-5 level issues do not leave any motor paralysis, (Good) but bowel, urinary bladder, and sexual functions are impaired. Grace's function of S4 Left-side could be the reason why she's having these bowel issues!! A reason! Though bad, I'd rather have a reason than continue wondering why.

They found a root that went crazy that looked healthy but crossed another root, and neither stimulated. They couldn't tell which roots they were, and it was asymmetric, which meant neither had their matching root on the opposite side (all roots have a matching pair).

They found 2 more nerve roots coming out from the ride side of the medullary cord (the growth that should have gone away as Grace grew in eutero but didn't) and traced all the way to the outgrowth site, and neither cords stimulated.

Now you can see from the picture above the areas where they were working, and the picture above shows a normal spine, sacrum, and positioning of the nerves.
So, on the picture above, Grace's surgery started at 5th Lumbar, which is L5. This was fine. S1, S2, and S3 were fine. S4 was not functional on the left side (could this be causing the lag with her left side? Because S4 does deal with a big portion of the leg 'shown below'). The coccygeal roots were found but didn't stimulate. There was a portion of really wiggle nerves they had found, and every time the stimulated then, they were stimulating both in the anal sphincters. There was no functional tissue here at this point. They cauterized the medullary cord and vessels which didn't work. They cut through some soft spinal cord. They took out two of the coccygeal roots while taking out the bottom bit of the medullary cord.
This picture above just shows where the nerves are used on the legs and in the toes. This all is so interesting!!!

Well, that's all I have. All very interesting stuff, and it really helps me understand why she might be having her issues with her bowels. I just need to know all the details so I can put it all together in my head, not so that I can freak out about it! It just helps me come to terms with it more. You know?


Amanda

Friday, January 28, 2011

Mommy's Birthday

Today was a good day. Actually, it was a great day! One of the best by far that I've had in a while! In the morning, Grace and I got to visit and play for a bit while Daddy slept in, and so I fed her, checked my blog and Facebook, and then went to get her dressed. After this I took her in my room to play while I got ready for the day, and called my Grandma because she'd called just a few minutes earlier. We got out of the house in the later morning and we were going to go to Joanns for fabric because I had a $10 off coupon but darn it! I lost it. So we went to get the mail and then were going to just go ...I didn't know where at that point, and my grandma's birthday card was in there with a check in it! So of course we put it in my checking account for a later trip to Joanns, but went to eat first at Marie Callendars. Mmmm...soup and salad bar...YUM! After that, a 2 hour shopping trip at Joanns, and by the end of it, I'd bought just 8 different colored rick racks for Grace's "colors" quiet book, a zipper, and...that's it! The fabric was just SO expensive!! And there was a lot of me talking myself out of buying fabric that was definitely NOT on sale! We headed to Walmart afterwards, and I was so happy I didn't spend my money at Joanns. Even though Walmart doesn't have the bulk fabric, they still have quite a bit, so I was able to buy enough fabric for 5 other projects that I want to make! And then...while we were walking down the aisle at Wally world...something caught my eye...CLEARANCE!!! They had TONS of Fleece on clearance for $2 for 2 1/2 yards!! So I grabbed 6 sets of that, and another two that were $3 for 2 1/2 yards...one pooh bear fleece and one Care bear!! SWEET!

Lets see...after that we were definitely shopped out, so we came home, put Grace down for her first nap of the day...WOW...three hours late. I got a call from my mother/father -in-laws for my birthday and so we talked for a bit, and then I worked on one of the projects I'd bought that day!!! Finished it up in about 1/2 an hour!

Here's Grace's new diaper bag. The other one was just getting boring, nothing else wrong with it though...Oh, and I didn't make it!!!

That's the flap that goes over the opening...the bag is also reversible. And you can't tell but I LOVE OWLS and this owl bag is actually quilted, so it's even more cute!
Look how much stuff fits inside, and I'm not even done filling it. That little diaper holder I made up by myself, no pattern, no picture to copy, no nothing. Aren't I talented?! Holds I think about 7 diapers and then 1/4 of a pack of wipes. Those rag looking things are her diaper rags, and the things to the left are her Carnation Instant Breakfast that she drinks every day (for calories). I'm going to make a holder for those too so they stay together. I wish I could've made pockets on the outside and inside but it's only one layer and all the stitching marks would show and that would have been ugly!
Here's a closer view of my diaper holder! So cute!!!


And the inside of the bag when it's empty. More cute owls!!! A job well done I would say! It was so cute because Grace kept pointing at the owls when she first saw the bag. We went to Sam's club and had the bag sitting next to her and she kept pointing at them. So I told her they were owls, and owls say, "whoooo whoooo" and withing 10 minutes (if that) she was saying it too!!! And she was so cute because she kept laying her head on the bag, and I'd stroke her head and say, "aw, what a sweet baby. What a sweet girl. I love you Grace, just oh so much." And she just sucked it all in!!!

We came home, and Grace went down by 8 pm which is crazy!! Awesome, but weird all the same. We'll see if she lasts through the night, and then if she lasts until at least 8. Hm...lets hope so! Hubby and I watched a movie while having yummy non-sushi sushi for dinner and cheesecake for dessert. A great way to end the night :) Other than me struggling to figure out how to get the videos off our video camera, I can't complain about today!!


Amanda

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Therapy Thursday

Grace had water therapy today, and it went the same as it normally has these past few weeks. For whatever reason, Grace has been resisting pretty much any of the activities the PT's try to work on with her. Today, all she did was kicks and some kickboard work. Otherwise, she fussed, arched her back, and bounced enough to where the water PT gave up. I don't know if it's because she likes crawling so much that there's no point, in her mind, to learn something new. Or if it's because she hadn't taken a nap and didn't eat much lunch (when it's spit in mommy's face, she gives up pretty darn quick.) but we let her use the cop-out of "she's tired." The therapist actually had to lock her legs around Grace's legs so that she'd actually stand, but that didn't last long. And we've gotten to the point where (we both discussed it) if she is going to continue thinking she will be caught by the PT when she flings herself, she's wrong! I think there were three times today she went head under water. The only thing that was a bit...weird?...was that she didn't care! You would think she would be like, "WOW! I didn't like that!" But she actually just sat there with her head under the water until the PT picked her up. Really?? The whole "you'll learn from your mistake" isn't even going to work? Hm...so we'll see how next week goes.

Before therapy Grace and I went to DI. I've just needed to find things to do outside of the house for Grace and I, so that's where we went today. I'm super excited because they have patterns there for sewing for 25 cents, and they usually always have all the pieces. I've bought tons from there and none have been missing pieces! So I got some of those, got Grace some clothes that are big girl size but that I will practice altering on so they will fit her now, got some books, and a cute Easter dress for Grace.


Amanda

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Done with Winter

I don't like being sick at all, so I'm assuming that Grace is the same way! She's been sick for about a month now, and we are at the stage of the super stuffy nose and the throat that sounds like it's full of mucus. Tonight was the first night we really had to "cook" her in the bathroom with the hot water and steam to clear her nose and throat. She sounded much better, but pretty quick the mucus was back. But I think if we keep doing that she should have a better time breathing! I also turned the heater up in the house in hopes it will keep her room warmer. We keep it at 65 which is FREEZING to me, so I will keep it at 68 and keep her oil heater in her room high too.

We went grocery shopping today and got tons of groceries, which included lots of yummy fruits and veggies! I can't believe how long it's been since we've gone grocery shopping for an actual list! Usually we go for just the milk/eggs/bread staples, and just eat from our pantry! Grace really enjoyed her lunch today! Sandwich turkey meat with cut up string cheese, crackers, strawberries and grapes! YUM! I got a lot of awesome menu plans for meals for Grace as I have started repeating things over and over, and I can tell she's getting pretty bored with it! So now that I have these plans she will have a broad arrange of things to eat, and hopefully will be more willing to want to eat!

We are still trying to figure out a good dose for Grace with the Laxative. We've been doing a cap full and then went down to half cap, but I think 1/4th a cap would be good enough, as she's having about 6 voids a day. We want her to get to 2-3 a day! But other than being sick she seems a lot happier, as though her stomach and bowels are feeling better, so that makes me tons better. I have noticed a definite change in her attitude/demeanor though...and I don't really know if I like it! Usually, she's pretty "go with the flow" but recently she's been getting an attitude! If she doesn't like something, she lets us know! And if she doesn't want to have her diaper changed, she will roll, arch her back, and kick like crazy to let us know. But I'd rather have her having the ability to share her feelings than for her to be boring and just always ok with everything!

We have a new member in the house. Kailyn has a friend who's having some family issues, and so she's here with us. I don't know how long she will be here, but she's a sweetie and so we will just be there to support her and help her however we can.

Oh, about Grace's eye appointment. So we have to go back to patching her eye for 2 hours a day, and only patching the right eye (which we've always been doing). We also discussed the surgery for her eye again, and I guess it finally just clicked with me that it's only cosmetic, it won't help her gain better vision or anything, so we are going to wait until we know for sure her vision is the best it will be. The patching is what will make or break it in aspects of her vision. She has partial Horner's syndrome in her right eye, which has to do with the inability for the eye to completely dilate in the dark, and because it doesn't dilate all the way, she might have slight issues with night vision in that eye because the eye can't open up to get as much light as it should be able to do. But since the other eye is fine, it won't really cause an issue. Just knowing a name for the dilation is good for me so when people ask, then I have a name I can tell them. Makes it easier for me I guess. And in 3 months he will dilate her eyes, and see if there is a need for glasses (which I REALLY hope there isn't because she HATES wearing things on her face!)

that's pretty much the family update so far. I had my Dinner in a Jar class at the house for the first time ever (it's my new calling in church!) and I just LOVED IT! I had about 30 ladies over to the house, and we chatted and made our jars and just had fun. Next month we will have it here again, and we will be making Texas Two Step Soup which is SUPER YUMMY!


Amanda

Saturday, January 22, 2011

New Dress for Grace

I was busy at work today during Grace's nap time making another dress for her (again!) If I were to count everything I've made, I think I'd be following my New Years resolution up until June! This is just so much fun! And I'm glad I have my fabric stash, because I can choose from an array of different patterns and colors :) I just love this dress! It was size 18 months on the pattern, but definitely won't fit her till she's 2 1/2 years or maybe even 3 years old. Sheesh they are sized big on the paper patterns. I also got one of my silk skirts almost done, and made two washcloth mittens so it's easier to wash Grace in the bath!




Amanda

Friday, January 21, 2011

Grace at PALS play day

I just absolutely love this video, and was so excited to load it on here. This is the most magnificent thing to see...and there's been so many magnificent things that it's funny I can say this is the MOST magnificent. She went up the stairs all by herself! I didn't even need to help her! I just had my hand there in case she fell backwards. I am just LOVING the progress that she's making! I just can't even put into words how excited I am. She has impressed me to the inth degree, and I don't know if I'm ever going to stop being proud. I KNOW I won't stop being proud! This child has shown me through her strength and determination that anything is possible! Gosh I could just hug her and squeeze her so tight because I'm so proud!



Here's a video of Grace playing in the mirror with herself! I just love watching her get so excited about seeing herself! She is just so funny because no matter what's going on, she's happy. I mean, except for the past couple weeks where I didn't realize she was super bound up. But now that's she's cleaned out, she has had such a turnaround with her attitude!



This photo is Grace playing with herself in the mirror :) She can spend so much time in front of the mirror! And it's so fun to watch her play there!
And here's Grace mouthing yet another toy. I don't know what it is about her, but she's got such a strong need for oral fixation. The therapists that were at group today gave her an actual medical chew piece that they give children that have strong oral issues, which I'm noticing with Grace. She crawled around with the corn from her video for about 1/2 the time just gnawing on it. Her two more teeth coming in doesn't help.


Amanda

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Water PT Today was GREAT!

I am so excited to be able to share this great experience with everyone that reads the blog, and I know that when Grace gets older and I've had this published, then she will get to enjoy reading it too. Anywho...lets get started. There's the video for you to watch too!



So the entire session just started out great. Grace was able to have a complete nap, she ate snack while I drove there, and was all smiles while I was dressing her in her swimsuit. Her therapist (Elaina) quickly realized that Grace was so much happier than the last couple times, and commented quite a few times on how much healthier and happier Grace looked. She said her eyes looked clearer and sharper, and Grace smiled constantly! I really think she was feeling bad because of her being so clogged with her bowel issues. She was definitely a happy camper today! They worked on the kick board first, and then got the noodle and worked on there some with balance. Grace was so wiggly though! So they went to work on the ramp, and that's where the real wonderful stuff happened! Grace did great with walking/taking steps, and it took a lot less prompting from Elaina to take those steps! So they work on that for quite a while! And then came the step, which I loved. This was the first time Grace had worked on sitting on the step, so I didn't know what she would think of it, but she did GREAT!!!


I had to cut the video into 3 pieces I think because it was SO long, but if you just scroll from one to the next, you will see the most wonderful therapy session happening! Grace did so great sitting up on the step. She used to lunge forward at Elaina, whether it's because she felt unbalanced or nervous (I don't know really) but today she was just ready to shine! Elaina didn't even have to hold her! And when working on standing from sitting, Elaina didn't have to help that much to get her from sitting to standing, and then back to sitting!


I think the thing that overall amazed Elaina the most was the ability Grace had to pivot and shift weight to get the toys at her left and right sides! So to ask her to sit upright for the first time, then work on standing, and then to rotate is just so much for a little one and she did AWESOME!!! I just couldn't realize it, and so I videotaped her until my camera shut off from not having anymore memory space!


I think out of everything, I loved watching the excitement on her face. You can tell that she was proud of herself, and she knew that mommy was proud of her too! And I think, overall, that's what I want her to know, and I try to instill into her EVERY SINGLE TIME I'm around her. I don't want her thinking for one second I'm not proud, because it's not true!!! She's an amazingly awesome child, and she's MINE!!

Working on the noodle...doesn't it look like she's going to kiss it! Actually, she was pretty nervous on the noodle, as it's a huge balance worker.
What a silly crooked smile!
I like this one! Shows off her long hair, her relaxed feeling in Elaina's arms, and I just love it!
The cutest smile IN THE WORLD!!
She loves splashing, which is what she's doing now!


Well, it won't let me load anymore pictures, so I guess I've hit my max. I'm going to post the rest later in the day, (seeing as it's already 1 am) because Grace has PALS playday today at 9:30!


Amanda
The Adventures of Miralax

After the meeting in Oakland with the Spina Bifida clinic, we were told that we needed to do another cleanout for Grace's bowels. We'd been having issues with her voiding constantly...I mean, literally, every 20 minutes or so we had to change her. And it's not that it was a huge void, but what little there was could be smelled so fast that she had to be changed. We didn't understand what was going on, so we talked with the doctor and he said what it sounded like was that she was clogged, and what little room there was in her bowel was letting fluid through, which was causing the tiny bits of void. So we did the cleanout with 2 cap-fulls of Miralax a day in either her water, juice, or instant breakfast (since she doesn't use pediasure anymore). I don't recall when we started, but I think it was Sunday afternoon. And yesterday evening was the first time she didn't have any more voids! I'm so happy!! Usually, we know to stop the Miralax when her voids have lightened in color, but her completely stopping (I'm assuming) is another way of knowing that she's cleaned out. Want to know what our day is like with Miralax 2x a day? Here's a scenario...

I had to go shopping one day at Sams Club for a Dinner in a jar class that I'm having. So I had already changed Grace at 2 am the morning of because I always go in to change her before I go to bed. Then at 8 am she had another movement, so I changed her, fed her breakfast, and had to change her again. Another cup of water with miralax, and then right before we left, I changed her again. We got to the bank before Sams club and I had to change her before I went in, and after we got the money deposited for the sams club trip, I had to change her again before I put her back in the carseat. Then we drove to Sams club, and I had to change her before we went in. After our shopping trip, she voided while I was driving home, so upon returning home I changed her, put her down for nap, and took a break myself. I think I had posted on my blog! Then when she woke up she was full of a void, so I changed her again, fed her lunch, another cup with Miralax, another diaper change, and then play time. About 20 minutes later, another diaper change, and went to get the mail. We spent some time outside since it was such a beautiful day and when we went in, she got her diaper changed again. Then we went out back to hang out with the chickens and dogs, and then after about 1/2 an hour we came in again, another diaper change, snack time, and then naptime at 4:30. I changed her before putting her down, and again when she woke at 6 pm. Then dinner time, play time with Daddy, and then shopping (just to get out). I had to change her before we went into the store, and while we were at the store for all of 10 minutes, I had to change her again. That was an experience! I had to wait for her to finish going, and then I was able to clean her up, but by the time we were done shopping, she was dirty again. So another change before we left to go home, and then upon arriving home, she was dirty again and this time is was up the back, so she went to the bath, where she voided throughout. Then bedtime routine, a change, and then put to bed. One more change at midnight, and then that's it for that day! Shew! Lots of changes huh? That's what we get for not just giving her the Miralax every day like we are supposed to. So from now on, Miralax daily! That is usually how it is during her clean-outs, and that lasts about 4-6 days, so we go through TONS of diapers...so expensive!

Now she's a "clean slate" I guess you could say. And since we've already tried her on a 1/2 cap a day and that didn't seem to help, we are pushing her to 1 full cap a day to see if we can get some regularity in her bowel movements. I'm giving myself 2 months before we take the next step to daily enemas, as she will be 18 months and able to go to nursery at church. We'll see how it goes, and update as we take these steps towards hopefully normal consistency bowel movements every 2-3 days.

You know, sometimes people feel bad for me when I describe to them her issues with bowels. But I have to admit, I'm not that worried about it. I was asked yesterday by her vision therapist, "does it bother you? I mean, does it cause anxiety for you?" I was like, "does what bother me?" During this conversation, I was in the midst of yet another diaper change after I had just changed her 10 minutes ago. I seriously had no idea what she was talking about! She said, "doesn't it bother you that she's on Miralax? Or that she voids so much? Isn't it stressful?" And I thought about it for a second, and realized that it probably would be stressful for some people. But I had realized at that moment that there are such worse things we could be dealing with, and this voiding issue REALLY doesn't bother me. To me, if feels like just another thing, you know? Like bathing your child, you know it's just something you do for your child. And that's what this voiding experience is like for me. I do anything for her, and the neurogenic bowel is second nature to me now. So I told her, "No. It doesn't bother me. It's out of my control, this is her, and so I just take what she gives me. There are such worse things that could be going on with her. This is just a small thing. She needs help with voiding. No biggy!" I felt so good in knowing that I was being 100% truthful. I wasn't just saying what I "should" say as a mom. I really truly meant it. I mean, she doesn't have a feeding tube, a trach, or a shunt. Nothing that she has is life threatening, time taking, or super serious. It's just a laxative help for voiding. And sometimes, I have to change tons of diapers. That's ok. And you know what? All this extra diaper changing just gives Grace and I one on one time, because while I'm changing her, I'm talking. Telling her my thoughts, dreams, happiness's and everything else. And she's such a wonderful child, because she just lays there. She knows that this is something she can't get out of, so she won't roll, won't try to get away, won't fuss. She lays there, even if I have to walk off to grab Desitin or wipes, she just waits. And when she's all finished and dressed, she doesn't roll away until I say, "All done" and give her a little prompting push to the side to let her know she can go. We work so well together. She and I...we are definitely a strong team. Mommy and daughter forever! And of course, Daddy is there right along side...but there's just a special mommy daughter bond that all women hope to have with their child.

I love her so much. And I'm the luckiest. In the world.


Amanda
Egg Salad

Grace makes such a mess sometime when she eats! This morning she had scrambled eggs for breakfast, and holy cow! She looked like an egg salad mess today after she was done! Usually, we are lucky enough to keep her hands out of her hair...but today was NOT one of those days :) But that's ok! It made for some good pictures!What a messy girl!! She definitely made a mess enough to need a bath, so Daddy did the honors while I did the mess cleanup downstairs from her egg breakfast!
This picture looks like she's looking at me like, "what are you doing Mom??" Silly girl! I'm glad she had a bath though, because she looked SO refreshed after and her hair looked very nice, I mean, didn't everyone know egg in your hair is very good for it? Makes it soft!


Amanda

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

More Projects Mommy has Done

I've been so busy in my sewing room, but I've kinda backed off a bit at the abundance that I'm doing because I don't want to burn out. I've completed my New Years Resolution so far, and that I'm pretty proud about :) I think I sewed 3 projects in January, and then the projects below minus the reversible dress. So I succeeded for two months already!The top picture is showing off the cute ruffles around the neck and armholes. I think they are so cute! I just did a tight hem, then put bias tape about 1/2 an inch down from there and that's what holds my elastic. And then the dress is gathered with an actual gathering stitch!! I did great with that! I did this with a pattern, I'm not good enough yet to do these on my own!
Here's the full dress. It's a size 2 and is supposed to have another layer on the bottom, but I don't know if I want to since it's already so long! I might just hem it and add on the other layer as she gets taller.
This is one of Grace's gifts for her 14 days of Valentine's Day! It's a counting pack, with 10 hearts in it and they are all labeled!
I made this drawstring back with the leftover fabric from their Valentine Bags!
Here's who who that is finally stuffed! He had been thin for so long, but finally I gave him what he deserved...stuffing!
This was a reversible dress, but now I think it would be a shirt for her since it's shortened up a bit...wait...she's grown taller!
And here's a size 3 or 4 dress! I really like this one, but I think I would thin it up a bit for Grace. She just isn't that wide!
This is what the back looks like. Isn't that cute how they cross in the back?! It will be awhile till she fits into this, but that's ok because I like to make sure I can make the big things before I make things that will fit her right this minute.

Sewing is so fun. I love knowing that I'm creating things with my hands that will clothe my child! And that she will play with or that will teach her. And though it's a bit costly at times, the patterns will last quite a while! I bought a pattern for pajamas that go from size 1 (which she can still wear) to adult size, so she will always have pajamas homemade by mommy!


Amanda

Mommy's Sewing Corner

I'm so excited that the hunk finally put up the shelves that I've wanted up for SO long!!
I'm SO happy!! I mean, I really do have the whole room to devote to my sewing stuff, but putting things on the shelves really gets it off the floor, less cluttered, and I can see from standing view what I've got to work on and work with. And I'm LOVING the dowel that holds all my ribbon, and I pinned each one so it wouldn't unravel! I'm so excited!!


Amanda

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Therapy Today

Grace had therapy today with her Infant Specialist, and she did so well! Of course, we did the popcorn trick for Ms. Allyse, and she was just thrilled that I've found something that will get Grace to want to cruise! It was so fun today because Grace was wanting to be involved with Allyse (we call her LeeSee...sound it out) and wanted to play and have her attention all the time. She brought out some rings for Grace and it was so cute that Grace went for the biggest one, and would play peek-a-boo through the middle! How adorable! And we tried to get her to do some ups and down from the couch in squat position, but since she's still learning strong trunk control, it's going to take her a while. But she knows now that if she does go into a squat, either Mommy's knee or LeeSee's knee is going to be there for her! And she did well for this being just the second or third time that she's actually worked on the up/down squatting! But she was still tired from being sick, so it was so cute to watch her lay her head on the couch cushion while she was standing. LeeSee would rub her back, and when she stopped, Grace would look at her like, "What?? You're done?" And flip her head the other way like, "More in this position now please!" It was stinkin' cute! But of course, because she IS cute!

LeeSee was also so surprised at how well Grace can go from sitting to standing and back to sitting. And she especially loved that Grace goes to squat and then plops to her butt rather than just plopping! Good girl Grace! She was actually so excited for Grace that she got tears in her eyes, and with emphasis she said, "Gosh! She's just doing SO amazing Amanda! EVERY TIME I SEE HER she's doing something new and I'm just SO happy to see the improvement. Gosh you guys are just doing AWESOME with her." I felt so good. I feel good when people tell me I'm doing good with her, not when they tell me I'm failing!


Amanda
Signs



As we move along…I want you to think about some of the big signs with big messages that I bet you wish you could wear around your neck sometimes so that people would be more gentle….or even that you could put around the neck of someone you love….so that you didn’t have to go into a big long story to defend yourself or someone else….so that people would just stop judging and and just be kind.

First, if you don’t know my history because you are brand new to Brave Girls Club…welcome welcome welcome! I need to start this story by giving you a little bit of background….. you see, my husband had an accident in 2004 that injured the frontal lobe of his brain……it has taken 6 years to get him back……but in the middle there, between 2004 and now…lots and lots of stuff happened. He was essentially out of it…but not just that….he changed to someone else, we lost him. His personality changed completely, he could not work, he was angry and depressed and could not cope with human beings. He did not feel love or affection, really he only felt anger…rage…and he was suicidal most of the time. He did not remember a lot of things. He could not take care of our family or even himself, really……..(and I want to mention again that through lots of miracles, he is 100% recovered now…we are so thankful….he is even BETTER than he was before his accident)

But……during that time…..he would have these confusing and amazing glitches of time when he would be totally normal. It was bittersweet. They would last for an hour sometimes, and sometimes for days…or even weeks…then he would sink back down into that horrible place. When he was sick, I protected him fiercely. I didn’t want anyone to see him like that…I had faith that someday he would recover….but man oh man it was lonely…I wished every single day that I could just walk around with a sign like this….

….because on the outside…I looked like I had EVERYTHING GOING FOR ME…I looked like I might just have a perfect life….but I was hiding a very painful secret….
Well…a lot of other things happened too………you can imagine what might happen over the years while we have a 7 acre farm, a pretty big international business that we own with lots of employees…..a life that HE managed before his accident, while he just let me do the fun and creative stuff….now we had lots of medical bills…lots of sorrow and lots of distractions……we also had LOTS of kids…..and no one competent managing the business…
Well…after a few years, I couldn’t hold it all together…our business was suffering for all of the reasons listed above and a few more reasons on top of that……..and we discovered that we were really SINKING. Well……one day when he was partly lucid….he was THERE…he was coherent….I told him the condition of our life.
He kind of panicked and he went straight to work figuring out what he could do. It was insanely heartbreaking when he would “wake up” after weeks or months and I had to tell him how much things were deteriorating financially, etc. It was very hard. But when he could, he did what he could….before his mental illness sucked him back into the prison it kept him in most of the time.
He called a sign place and had a huge sign brought out to our house…the kind that you can put letters on, and it was electric and lit up…….He put it by the road in one of our horse fields……then he drove our Suburban….both of our trucks….my classic Thunderbird that he got me for my birthday a few years earlier…..our tractor…all of our tractor implements…the boat that I worked 10 years to get for him (and that caused his brain injury, incidentally)……….and he lined everything up along the fence and he put a price tag on every single thing. Then, he put the letters on that big huge sign and plugged it in.
You have to understand that we had worked for MANY years for those things. We started a business in our twenties and we sacrificed everything we had for all of those years to make it work. We owned almost all of it outright…….but, when I told him that the business was struggling….this is what he did….
Sooooo…..there it was….all in a row……all of our stuff…..out in our field.
All of the neighbors driving by…our friends…the community…..people who knew us most of our lives and people who knew nothing about us…..we were just the young family who lived in that beautiful little farm house on Beacon Light road with the perfect lawn….or what USED to be.
You see, in addition…for months….our once beautifully manicured yard started to be filled with weeds that were now several feet high. I just couldn’t keep it up. The lawn was a nightmare. Everything was just falling apart all around me and my heart was broken over my husband, too. It was humiliating and exhausting and horrible, really.

Well, the sign was not up in the field for more than a few hours…….when my husband’s phone rang….it was someone who saw all the stuff and my husband’s phone number on the big huge sign. We were sitting out in the yard while he was still coherent and he was feeling devastated about the condition of our lawn…..I was apologizing that I just couldn’t do all of it………..he was so heartbroken at his limitations and that he had left me to try to handle our life alone……we were trying to make a plan…..
He answered his phone…I saw that he was just listening…I could hear that the person’s voice was getting louder and louder and louder………..my husband just listened. He turned his back to me a little so I wouldn’t hear. But I could hear it….It seemed to go on and on and on……..
These were the things I could hear on the other end of the phonecall….
“You are bringing down the value of my property with that ugly sign!”
“What are you doing?”
“That is the most obnoxious sign, do you have a permit to have that out there?”
“Are you starting a used car lot?”
“You have got to get all of that moved and out of here or I am calling the authorities”
I sat there, mortified, embarrassed, humiliated, mad, sad, devastated. I was certain that this would snap my husband back into his dark hellish place.
But, when the man was done ranting, my husband waited a second and then very calmly said something that I will never, ever forget…….
“Sir,” he said, “There was a time in this country, in this community…when if you drove past your neighbor’s house and saw every single thing they own was for sale in front of their house…and that their lawn had not been mowed for weeks….that you would stop and say….WHAT IS GOING ON, SOMETHING MUST BE TERRIBLY WRONG, WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP YOU?”
The man was silent…..and then my husband went on to tell him a few details about what was going on with our family….
The man waited a moment and then his tone changed…..he apologized….I mean, really apologized and then said…
“I am going to call all of my friends and see if any of them need any of this stuff….”
***************************************
I wish with everything in me that we could have put a sign up on that big stupid lit up billboard in our field that said OUR LIFE IS FALLING APART…. but all that we really could put up is a sign with the price of everything that we owned that was worth any money…….
WHAT IF we could all wear a sign that said what WE REALLY MEANT? What if we could go straight past the small talk……..or the masks…….and we could actually go straight to the heart of the matter…….what if our friends and family wore signs like this?

…we would treat each other differently.
I think we should just try to imagine it………that when a friend is quiet…or not showing up to stuff she usually shows up to….or acting a little “off”….or a family member is wearing pajamas to the grocery store for weeks on end……or not answering the phone…..or the lawn is not mowed…..

whatever it is……….
IT IS A SIGN. It is not a sign that can be read in words and letters, but it is a sign that someone needs to be treated gently…that they need help….most of all, that they need love, understanding…and that they DEFINITELY DO NOT need to be judged.
Every time I think of this story….I want to be better…I want to do better, I don’t want any silent signs to go unread before my eyes or my heart…..I don’t want to make up my own answers to what must be going on…I don’t want to assume………..

Let’s be gentle with each other.
Let’s read each other’s signs.


Amanda
I wish I could wear my signs...
(I got this from Kidz blog, who got it from another blogspot. Thank you for sharing.)



Monday, January 17, 2011

Grace's new Skills!

I love seeing that Grace knows how to use this toy for real! We've used this toy for quite a while, but she would just stick her arm into the middle and try to grab the rods, not really pushing the little pieces around. But slowly, and steadily, we worked on it, she's gotten smarter and her understanding has increased, and WOW! Look at her now! She's using it the way it was made!! I'm so excited to see her do this! It's amazing how many times she can take leaps and bounds, and you'd think I couldn't see any more leaps or bounds, and then she does it again! And she's so good at "sharing" with mommy! We love to share everything, especially her food! Well, that's something I don't really like to share, but if she's offering, I've just got to take it. Wouldn't you? I really like watching her for every LITTLE new thing she's learned, because it's the little things that people miss so often.

Good job Grace!!



Amanda
Cruising at the Couch

We've noticed an extreme digression in Grace's desire to cruise at the couch, or anywhere that we want her to cruise. Her doctor did say that since she can get around so well with crawling that it's normal for her to not want to work on the next development level, so we've just gone with her flow. We've backed off on how long we work with her on cruising, but just do it more times throughout the day, and we try not to get her too worked up. We don't want her seeing it as a bad thing. I've been trying to figure out how I can get her to want to cruise, but the remote control doesn't really work anymore, and the keys are a boring thing for her. But today, I think I've found the trick to make her cruise!!! POPCORN!!! She LOVES popcorn! We got the tin cans full of popcorn for Christmas, so I bite off the kernel, and put the soft part on the far side of the couch, and OH MY GOSH her booty gets moving so fast! She's over there lickity-split!! So now, before her therapy sessions I will get a little bowl of popcorn ready, and will take some with me when we go to water therapy (just in case it's raining and we have to do indoor workouts). And you know what's funny...she does SO WELL!! She doesn't struggle at all going to the right, and it takes her about twice as long to the left, but she can still do it! Silly girl! The next thing we need to teach her is to cruise without leaning :) She's so funny, but she knows what she likes to do, and now, that's crawling! I never see her do her belly crawl again. Well, I've seen it once when she went from a rug to the tiling, so we are wondering about her depth perception.


Amanda
The Stairs...Uh Oh

We've been working with Grace and her PT on learning how to climb up and down the stairs, but it's been a really long process. And then a few days (or maybe weeks, I can't remember) she had fallen down a flight of our stairs and so she was SUPER scared of them. Because she'd fallen and gotten scared, I've been working with her on trusting me with her around the stairs. I will sit a few stairs down, and keep calling her over to the stairs so I can pick her up and carry her down. Well, over time, she's gotten ok with the stairs, and will crawl right up to them again. And then all of a sudden, she climbs them by herself?! What the heck?! I mean, good job girlie!!! But I was so surprised! I was up in the sewing room and Daddy was watching TV. He said that she'd been right there playing with him, and within a few minutes she were 5 stairs up! He rushed over really quick just as I was rushing to the sewing room window because she was fussing weirdly...I guess she got high enough to where she didn't know what to do! And the crazy thing about it is that she had socks on her feet because she had her eye patched!

So after we realized she could climb stairs (which is funny because she always fussed when we tried to help her), we went right to Once Upon a Child and got a gate. Shew! Problem solved! And now, when she crawls by the stairs, she looks at it like, "oh darn. They put a gate up!" It's so cute!!!

Amanda
Grace's Doll

I love this doll that Great Grandma "dado" gave Grace! It's such a cute doll, but it also laughs, which is something that Grace loves (baby's laughing). And I just love how much more in tune she's becoming with her surroundings. She has obviously now learned that you kiss people faces, which is super cute because she loves to kiss her doll! I just love that she knows to give it kisses, and many times, she does it on her own! Now our next step with dolly is to teach her how to make it laugh by herself!





Amanda
Grace's Caterpillar

So we got this caterpillar rocker from a friend and it's been so fun trying to get Grace to learn how to use it! I think it took us at least 4 times for her to figure out that the antennae is what makes the music turn on, and then it took her at least 3 tries with Mommy's help to show her that she has to push it, and what push meant! But now, she does it wonderfully, and I'm so glad she does! It's funny because she will have the music play, and then she will rock her head side to side, or bounce up and down. What a cutie!




Amanda

Friday, January 14, 2011

Daddy Hanging out with Grace




Short and simple...this is happiness :)


Amanda
Spina Bifida Clinic...we have the Rarest Child!

First and foremost I will say that today was the day we've been waiting for for 6 months. It's been such a long time coming, and I'm so glad the day finally came!! We left home about 7 am, and got to Oakland without much trouble at around 9 am. Grace was great and enjoyed the trip the whole way there. I drove first, and it was so fun pointing the cows out to her because when you make the noise, she mimics! MMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!! It's so cute! and when you do the sheep....AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA she also mimics that one! What an awesome morning! We met a cute little family on the way into the clinic that had a little down syndrome daughter that just turned two, so we chatted with them a bit and the girls jabbered at each other, so that was a nice way to distract both girls. Then we finally got called back.... drum roll!!

Well, it's not like I can tell you in one sentence how it went, but it's all good news. We met with 12 doctors, so I will do chunks and explain what each one of them said. But before we even met with any doctors she was weighed and measured for length, and those measurements are here: 20.7 pounds and 30" tall. So she's in the 9th percentile for her weight and the 25th percentile for her height, and the height was 10th percentile, so she's definitely been in a growth spurt! Alright, so here we go with the blocks of information from the doctors.

ORTHOPEDICS: Dr. Townsend- There is going to be no need for any orthopedics. Her feet flex in all ranges that they should, and she has ataxia, which is a balance issue, as though she were walking drunk. He made sure to let us know that we MUST know the word "ataxia" which I thought was funny! These doctors just want us to know all the technical terms, but that's good. Also, Grace has a slight curve of the spine to the left which will have to be watched for scoliosis (which is common in children with spina bifida). Remember, Grace does NOT have spina bifida, but many of her issues correlate with spina bifida, so she qualifies to be in this clinic. He watched her walk, crawl, pull to stand, reach and her overall movement.

PEDIATRIC NEUROSURGEON: Dr. Atefch Hosseini- Grace should have 10 words in her vocabulary by the age 18 months, and that's either in sign or language. So far Grace has: Wow, what, daddy, mommy, eat *sign*, more *sign*, all done *sign*, dog *sign*, blow kiss *sign*, point to nose when asked *sign*. So she's pretty on track with that! Kids with issues at the back of the head (hypoplasia cerebrum, which she has) have issues with feeding and swallowing, which is what we are seeing with Grace. But with time and patience, she will learn to swallow rather than allow the food to sit on her tongue to gag her. The hypoplasia of the cerebrum also could be causing her balance issues and walking issues, but as she gets sturdier on her feet, she will continue to strengthen and the balance won't be such an issue. but of course, we won't know that for sure. This is a guess because we won't know for sure. As she starts to mature and is older (4-5 yr) we will know how bad or good her walking will be. The hypoplastic corpus callosum, which is the bunch of membranes between the two hemispheres of the brain isn't a huge issue. Neither of these are a huge issue. She could say they look drastic and can tell there will be issues, but since the problems with the two spots are so small, we might just see a tiny bit of an issue, like a tiny balance issue. The corpus callosum just doesn't have as many nerves that are asymmetric. This doctor did notice that Grace legs are weaker than her arms, so hopefully as she continues to walk, that will balance out (they call that asymmetry). Her head circumference is 43 cm.

DIETICIAN: Andrea Curran- So the diarrhea from the whole milk she is pretty certain is not from allergy, but from Grace being lactose intolerant. So what we can do to take her off the Pediasure (as it's pretty expensive) is to switch her to Carnation Instant Breakfast (which these doctors call CIB) mixed with Full Fat Lactaid Milk. Then wean her into the whole cows milk SLOWLY, as in 1 ounce a day for 2 weeks. If the diarrhea comes back, then we are to stop, wait a few weeks and try again. If she fairs well, then we are to increase to two ounces once a day, for 2 weeks, and so on. She said Grace will most likely come out of the Lactose Intolerant, she just needs to have time for her body to slowly build up the enzymes to break down the lactaid in the milk. She also gave us some good ideas for high fat foods, as Grace is still needing the calories (full fat yogurt, sweet potatoes, anything with butter or olive oil, etc)

UROLOGIST: Dr. Krishnan- Everything up to now is sounding fine. From what we've said, Grace sounds as though she's voiding well for her urine. She has had semi-consistent wet diapers, things like that, and all the ultrasounds have come back normal, so all is good there. We discussed for a while if we are ever going to be able to get her potty trained, and that was a big "I can't be too sure". At 2 1/2 to 3 years old we will do a urodynamics test to see if everything in Grace's urinary tract is working. Here is an explanation of the test: This is a study that assesses how the bladder and urethra are performing their job of storing and releasing urine. They put a catheter in to fill the bladder and record the measurements. Then they take a post-void residual volume, which is where after a complete bladder, they measure the urine volume (what's left over). If there's a high level left, this means there is an overflow incontinence, which means they cannot stop their bladders from constantly dribbling, or it dribbles after they have passed urine. There is also a uroflowmetry, which measures how fast the patient can empty the bladder. There is also a multichannel cystometry which measure the pressure in the rectum and bladder using two catheters, to see if there's a presence of contraction of the bladder wall during bladder filling. They will also test the strength of her urethra, and see if her sphincter muscles (the muscles that clamp close, and then open to release the urine) are working. So, all these tests will tell us if Grace is able to control her bladder, which means she will be able to potty train. Now, if she has the constant dribble, there are some things they can do. There is a surgery they can do to try and fix the continence, and if that's the way we want to go, they would check her neurogenic bowel to see if they can do surgery to repair that in some way at the same time. The other way we can go is to teach her how to catheter herself, and that will be the way we have to go for the rest of her life. So we are REALLY hoping that she is having normal bladder use, holding her urine till she's full, and releasing and closing back up again.

SPEECH THERAPY: Dr. Casey- At 18 months, speech therapy will start. WOO WHOO! He really likes all the noises that Grace is making, and loves the pointing she always does. He gave us a lot of ideas on what to do to help with sign language help, such as having Grace sit on one of our laps, showing her the object, showing her the sign, and then the person with her on their lap moves her hands to do the sign. Continue that with new words, and after a few weeks we should back off and give her just little promptings, like nudging her arms. Also, we need to label an object at least 4 times. So, if she points at something (ball) then I would get it for her and say, "oh you want the ball?" "This is the ball, here you go, you can have the ball." "Grace, you are holding the ball" that way she understands that things have labels. Also, if we are asking her a question, "What is this Grace?" then you should label that thing (ball) 4 times before asking her a question, that way she can process what you are saying. "What is that Grace? That is a ball. Here is the ball. Mommy has the ball in her hand. And now you have the ball." He wants us to do something called Auditory Bombardment (which after explaining, I've already done) and that's talking all the time, describing things all the time, repeating ourselves over and over. And that Grace won't start putting two words together until she knows about 50+ words for sure in her vocabulary. So that's interesting to know.

OCCUPATIONAL THERAPIST: Heather- She and I discussed mainly eating, as that's been an issue. From what I described to her, she said Grace is presenting at the 12 month development level with eating (still learning to move food in her mouth, learning that her teeth are to grind the food, learning how to swallow without gagging herself. She has to learn to do something with the food on her tongue rather than let if fall back too far and gag herself.) She said to continue giving Grace all the food we have and that with the transition period to adult food, she's doing very well with what she's capable of eating. About the mouth stuffing, all she really said to that was to give her less food so she doesn't feel like she needs to overexert herself and stuff it all :) While she was working with the OT, Grace did a stand from half kneel which is awesome!!! She also checked Grace's pincer grasp, which I told her was fine, and she agreed. Also, Grace has had no issue with texture, sensory issues, so OT at this time wouldn't be necessary!! Oh yeah!

PHYSICAL THERAPIST: Rehab- The physical therapist agreed that Grace doesn't need a walker, and that she's doing so well with her movements that she will definitely learn to walk on her own! YES!! She also said to practice being on the feet ALL THE TIME! So cruising, walking with mommy and daddy, things like that. Also, we need to work on squatting some more with her because that will challenge her balance tons more and strengthen her gluts, quads and hamstrings. So in the beginning, have her stand at the couch, put something a bit out of reach towards the floor and she will squat a bit to get it, and over time move it down slowly and then continue until you can put it on the floor. She was also noticing Grace's right side dominance, and said not to worry too much unless she starts to drag the leg, or when she's crawling, she starts to drop her hip to the floor.

LEADING NEUROSURGEON (man that did Grace's spine surgery with Dr. Zavikian): Dr. Pang- He came in with his Physician assistant as well as the Radiologist, but these latter two didn't talk much!! Anyways, he let us know that Grace's spine issue is the rarest in the world! WOW!! I had no idea! And it wasn't actually an issue with the spine, but with the bit of membrane that was at the tail end of the spine. It should have dropped off while in utero, but since it didn't, it collected fat and cysts on it which is what tied down the spine. Also, he said that her Gene deletion is so rare that they don't even have a name for it! So he and I discussed milestones, and he was thoroughly surprised she is pulling to stand. He said she has perfect looking legs, and that her feet are looking great. Also that she most likely won't need braces or anything like that, which of course the next doctor said different, but whatever. We also discussed the eye issue, and that Brad and I are on different sides of the fence when it comes to wanting the surgery ( I want it he doesn't) and he said DO NOT wait. You wait and it could be too late. Oh, I was right! Anyways, he was really happy with Grace's progress, and loved watching her crawl! We told him about the right side dominancy and he didn't know what that could be from, but said to watch it and let him know if it gets worse.

REHABILITATION DOCTOR: Mandeck- Don't use a Johnny Jumper! That's the first thing he said. It throws off her balance and will teach her to walk with a bounce. He said she will probably need leg braces if her feet turn in or out, but that will be a wait and see. Also there might be special shoes she could need just for some extra support of her feet (like heel support, things like that). But for now, no walker, no braces! She's doing great! He thinks that all the therapy she's in is great, and wouldn't say she's lacking anywhere in therapy available.

SPINA BIFIDA DOCTOR: Duane Marble- He discussed with us a lot about Grace's bowel movements and her neurogenic bowel. This is all pretty...gross and technical, but the overlook is that Grace sounds like she has Patulus anus, which is where her muscle isn't strong enough to close the anus. So she's always voiding. So what we are going to do is another deep clean with extensive Miralax for 10 days until voids come out light colored, and then after that a daily dose of the Miralax. After this, we are to watch to see if the muscle contracts and closes, and if she's able to void regularly (1-2 times a day) If she continues having issues, we will most likely need to move to a daily enema, so she will be cleared and won't have the continuous dribble we have been having. Especially for school and as she gets older, if she's not able to potty train the bowel, she will need the daily enema so she won't leak at school. The neurogenic bowel will never leave us and never get fixed, so she will either always be on Miralax, always doing an enema, or we could even do surgery to set up a catheter tube to do a daily catheter. So we'll see. We also discussed the horrible diaper rash when she has these dribbles, and he said Ilex (spelling) is really good. Its a really thick cream you put on and then over it you put Vaseline, and after a void, you just wipe the Vaseline and reapply, but don't wipe the Ilex off. You will wait about three days, and the Ilex will dry and peel off. Underneath the Ilex, the skin is healing without the acidic void and continuous wiping, so that's really awesome. We also need to be on LATEX ALERT. She's got it written in her file that she's allergic to Latex just to be safe. Children with spina bifida and early exposure to latex usually end up forming an allergy, and since she had a surgery at 6 months old, she's at high risk. So when we go to the doctor, nurse, dentist or anywhere, no latex. No balloons, no rubber bands or wrist bracelets. Good to know.


So all in all, a really good day. Lots of information, lots of positive things, and I'm happy. There was also a social worker we saw that I forgot about, but she mainly said that we should maybe put Grace in a child care once a week for a few hours so she gets exposure to places with kids, and so I can get a break. Also, that I need to be sure to get out and not seclude myself, and that it's going to take time for me to be done grieving about having a special needs child, and that it just won't be done. Good to know for the hubby!

Now we are home and I'm TIRED. Grace did well, got a bit wiggly at the end and started hitting, but that's normal when she's overtired. We didn't even make it out the elevator after all was done before she was asleep. Then she slept all the way home, and is now just waking up an hour later! Shew, she was tired!! Now mommy is going to get some ice cream!


Amanda