Grace's journey

Gods of Sleep, Please Hear Me...

I need sleep...I need sleep like I need air. When I don't get sleep, I get grouchy, sharp, and short with everyone. It's just something that happens, and they only way I can control it is to not talk to a soul, but then the response to that is, "Why are you mad? What have we done now?" So please, God of Sleep, can you please just let me get a solid, deep sleep of at least 8 hours, just one time soon? Last night, for instance, wasn't good enough. Making it to sleep at 1 am finally because I just COULD NOT fall asleep...and then woken up at 3 when hubby finally came to bed (loudly...I mean, who slams doors at 3 am?!) and then up again at 4:30 with Grace because she needed a bottle (yeah, there went the "no more bottle" plan...I get desperate with lack of sleep) and then up at 5:30 to move to the floor in the sewing room because really, who can sleep with a snoring bear? Then up at 9. Sheesh. I really can't do these nights... So God of Sleep, please rain your blessings down on me, as I'm struggling today. Grace is still sick, still fevered, and for whatever reason, it doesn't go down with the Tylenol. Her cheeks show me how bad she's feeling...bright red means the temp is about 100 or higher. If I were blessed with a mother that cared to be part of my life, I'd call her and say, "please...please take her for the day?" But life decisions on her part have made that impossible...for the rest of my life. Oh, I guess I did get another hour in on Grace's floor. When I'm really desperate, I take her out of her crib, put tons of toys on the floor, and I sleep next to the heater vent. Granted, those are like 10 minute increments, as she LOVES climbing on me, pulling my hair...etc. Ho hm...Just a hard day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. There is more that I wish I could vent, but for reasons of "under the bus throwing" I won't do it. I'll just hold those thoughts, feelings and gripes inside me. And I will continue on... The kitchen calls my name as the dishes are stacking up...and then the laundry, living room, bedroom and sewing room...I need an organizer to come help :) One of those professional ones! Not that I don't know how to organize...because I do...I'm just too tired to do it!


Amanda